Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize