shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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