The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
