my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
