Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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