hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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