he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
