I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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