the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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