I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
