Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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