If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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