We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
