If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
