She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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