so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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