you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Come see our sink grown plant.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
