Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I have post one night stand depression
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
