He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
