my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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