You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
