And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
