she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
