I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
