I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
