we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize