Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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