i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize