when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
