I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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