You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
