the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
