I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
