Are we in a gay sports bar?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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