She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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