Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
