my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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