I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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