Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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