i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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