So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
