And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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