Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
