I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
