it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
