I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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