:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
