id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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