watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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