Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
