i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
