dude i'm inner monologue high
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
