what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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