come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
