i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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