i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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