Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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