Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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