Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Randomize
