We're facebook friends in real life
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
