i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
