I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
