brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
